A relationship does not die when a person dies.

Electronic Media

ACA Podcast

ACA Podcast -- Re-membering Lives

Listen to an American Counseling Association podcast with Lorraine Hedtke and John Winslade

ABC News Online Australia

Life Matters - Australian National Radio

The conventional ways of thinking about death borne out of the western thinking, limits the way people are thought of after they die. The emphasis is places on stories being owned by the individual, so that when a person dies, the story dies with them. This conventional model the grief-stricken person is limited to re-creating those (one or two-dimensional) stories without the person there.

In this broadcast, you can hear host Julie McCrossin interview Lorraine Hedtke about remembering and the positive impact on folding stories of the deceased back into the life of the living.

Individual Pathways

Individual Pathways Clip

This clip is from the Hospice Foundation of America's 14th annual video teleconference Living With Grief: Before and After the Death. In this clip from Pathways, we see a few excerpts from an interview about a remarkable woman whose daughter recently died. Some of her interviewed was used as the opener of the HFA teleconference.

View the Individual Pathways clip

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Re-membering Conversations: A Postmodern Approach to Death/Grief

Re-membering conversations" (the hyphen signals the deliberate reproduction of membership), can be useful in counseling someone who is grieving but can also be used to regenerate the thoughts of the contributions made by those who are no longer living. Such contributions are resources for identity growth and for problem solving. In this moving counseling session, the client recalls the importance her mother played in her life and the many ways in which her mother's legacy continues to be a vibrant part of who she is. Her mother is "brought to life" through the rich stories told in the counseling conversation, even though she had died many years previously. (60 Minutes)

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Narrative Skills: Practice exercises for developing counseling skills. Part I. Developing curiosity & Part II. Externalizing and decision-making.

In this two-part series, Dr. John Winslade and Dr. Lorraine Hedtke demonstrate aspects of counseling conversations, so that students can learn and improve their counseling skills.

Part I: Developing Curiosity: In three engaging vignettes, the authors start each conversation with a simple word — "breakfast", "favorite pet" and "something you were pleased about". Viewers will be fascinated with how these seemingly simple acts of curiosity build a generative conversation that connects with a person's cherished identity story. All give way to a rich conversation about identity stories and about preferred ways of living.

Part II: Externalizing and Decision-Making: Externalizing, an essential component to Narrative Therapy, is founded on the belief that, "the person is not the problem; the problem is the problem." In the externalizing conversation, Donna struggles with tardiness. In the decision-making conversation, Lorena wants to make a decision about whether to choose her girlfriend over her loving yet disapproving mother and family. (2 Hours)

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A Totalizing Conversation: Re-storying a Totalizing Description of Race

In this powerful video, John and Lorraine discuss the definition of a 'totalizing description' and the damage it can inflict upon a person. Following that conversation, John interviews an African American client who has experienced being totalized on the basis of her dark skin color. A deconstructive conversation about the particular effects of racist assumptions ensues. The interview is followed by a reflective team of listeners, moderated by Lorraine in which the team reflects on and responds to the client's words. Afterwards, the client is interviewed about the meanings she made of the listeners' responses and the impact these have on her. A powerful video that exemplifies John and Lorraine and their masterful work as narrative therapists, and the poignant story of racism.(70 Minutes)

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Creating Meaning in Later Years

Creating Meaning in Later Years

This DVD contains excerpts from narrative interviews with elderly women. These, in their eighties and nineties have the opportunity to share stories about loved ones whom they have lost. They speak about how they maintain their relationships with people who were so important to them. The women were anxious about having a conversation with someone who has a specialty in bereavement. The woman shared at a follow up meeting of their group how pleased they were that the conversations did not focus on the sadness of bereavement even though they were talk about grief. The DVD is an example of what positive conversations are possible about a person who has died when the questions are informed by narrative practices.

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Important Discussions Toward the End of Life

Important Discussions Toward the End of Life: A Conversation with Father Time

In an interview with a man who is battling several terminal illnesses, Lorraine speaks to him about how he has managed his crises. He tells her that he has cheated death a number of times and that he is due to have a conversation with, "Father Time." They discuss his many important relationships and how we are all members of a club of life. They talk about how his stories will continue to live on even when he is no longer physically present. As identity is seen in relational terms instead of residing in an individual, they talk about other ways to think about death and the legacy of life.

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